3.567987679967 years of experience and the house of cards
The 5% moments in life that shape our character
House of cards
Yesterday evening I received a call from one of my previous engineers at Shunya. The call started with a few very compelling offers that this engineer had cracked and top in market compensation as a function of that. He had called to take my perspective on which one should he be joining. In this part of the conversation - I swelled with pride. That part I have always felt, we did right at my startup Shunya, even though Shunya was a commercial non-success.
Only that, towards the end of the call “ Ekta, do you have 2 more minutes”. “
Me : “...Yes, go on”
And this engineer told me that since he was very keen on one specific offer during this job hunting cycle, he misrepresented the form & resume to match the {n} number of years of experience that this job demanded. Transposing myself to that situation, I can imagine that it might have felt innocuous at first, after all it was just a form. But when more documents were needed, a backward trail of all docs would have been needed - Offer letter, Experience letter, dates for reference check and so on.
And not just that, since he had done it anyway, he took it further and did it for all interviews & offers he was considering at that point. The reason I mention this is the Laxman rekha - once you cross it - it becomes easy to cross it again and again - till you dont’t identify yourself as a person and you can’t meet yourself in the eye with professional integrity. All of these thoughts ran in my mind in that split second, before I had to reply to him.
To this, I asked him “Why”.
He mentioned that he had graduated during COVID and did not get an offer till he formally joined us, which later led me to infer that he may also have misrepresented his work before joining Shunya, because there were internships in his profile so there couldn’t have been a gap. But the most uncomfortable part was seeing that he did it both ways before, and after Shunya. You see fear of being left out is a very strong force, esp in this generation and we are raising very sensitive kids as a function of that. More on this in a while.
And then he asked me, if I would be ok to do the reference check with these details. Since, I have always prided on building a strong team with core values(and to be able to screen people) and build a soulful company - I felt momentarily punched in the gut. And uncomfortable to do this ethically.
My own experience as a child
In particular, it triggered this one strong memory of me as child in 5th grade, when I had carried what we call “Churan”(Tamarind powder) to school, and a friend of mine and I were eating it, off a newspaper on the last bench in class. The teacher caught both of us, and I owned up that I was the one who got it, I was the only one that had to be punished. It was a spontaneous exppression prisoner’s dilemma at best.
I have no clue what my teacher thought of that newspaper and the tamarind powder on it, but she made an assertion that it was drugs !! No seriously, yes. And that time, I actually believed it to be true. And given the taboo with the same, I was afraid to mention this to my parents.
I wasn't allowed inside the class for a week. So, essentially I was going to school in morning, but for one full week I stood in the corridor. I was asked to do that, till my parents visited the principal and I had no words to tell my mother that this happened. One week after, I had to tell my mother and she did meet the principal in her room, with me standing next to her. I still remember the bitternes of failing my mother at that moment. But also the relief that she was by my side.
She only told me much later that she never believed the drugs crap - though I lived with this moment in time for many teenage years. In that it gave me a resolve of a different kind. I wish she had spoken to me, while she stood by me - so I wouldn’t have suffered in weeks after that - of the self humiliation I felt in that “moment of relief”. But I see her point - through this , she built character in me.
The reason I mention this is because we as a society have failed to teach our kids safe expression, that its ok to own our mistakes and conflict resolution. We teach them how to go through average situations, but not through outlier ones. And yet, we are often maneuvering our life through these difficult circumstances.
The true test of character is how we behave when we do not know how to behave.
Now, if you are reading this - I am sure this engineer had motive to do so(may be it was greed/fomo, since he was already well placed currently, so this wasn’t necessary.. and n other things ), but rather than public shaming I want to use this post to reflect on our obsession with X years of experience and a lot more of hiring constructs and biases, all of which came to me like a flash.
Afterall if he cleared an interview meant for X years, while he had X-1 years of experience, he must be good. Or are there biases that we hold as recruiting managers towards people based on experience, which cloud our thinking ? And if yes, how can we systematically cleanse ourselves of these biases ? Beyond the tick mark of reducing the recruitment funnel to a manageable count, what role does 3.567987679967 years of experience really play ?
Reflections on the kids we are raising as a generation
1/ This generation is the most vulnerable of all, with supercharged ambitions, and sometimes they borderline ethics. These are things that we as leaders can’t ignore. We have to comfort them that its ok to run your own race, and choose not to run at all.
2/ It is very rare for people to invest in young people at any given company. With fail-safe systems, not at home, the young are left to have the right/wrong from the median points they see in society and the pressure to move fast and the presssure-cooker-led-approach that is broiled into us. This generation is all the more lonely and needs safe expression more than any other generation.
3/ In a VUCA world, there will be disruptions and we need to give this a humane lens as “recruiters” and founders - and create that comfort space. This will be even more demanding in remote work - where it is not uncommon for people to do freelancing/gig economy/ multiple jobs - these red flags are endemic issues, but we need to solve them at root node.
4/ Since 2012, I have read - “How should I measure my life” multiple times. It’s a great chapter from Clayton Christensen - and there is one thing in it that I never forget - that it is easy to do something 100% of times, than 95% of times and that one of 3 topics while teaching to grad students was “How do I stay out of jail” - the point is some of these harmless actions often materialize much later in life as they become imprints, for why people do what they do.
5/ And finally, do not compare your inside to someone else’s outsides, because you don’t know how they got there and the house of cards under it, waiting to be crumbled. Compensation etc is one such axis.
And, the Questions you need to ask yourself as hiring managers & HR’s
To the companies and HR’s reading this - if this employee could still crack your interviews for X years of experience with his prep - is that experience really needed? What is the functional value does it serve ?
Think about the implications on N years of experience that “you have been told” by your hiring managers, the question that, question the gaps, question everything that was not built for VUCA world we now live in.
And, when we talk about well-established company, they usually look for the experience because some things only come with experience but with startups, it's totally different. An early-stage startup should only look for skills and passion to do things, where the fire in belly doesn’t discriminate between the young & reasonably experienced.
Leaving aside moral grounds - and assuming this person is genuinely sorry - will you step up and hire him ?
Much like how prison convicts, when given a chance turn around things, have an honest conversation, turn it around - and see if there is room for repentance. In a world where you could get talent and there are n better ways to spend energy on(No one gets fired for buying IBM remember ?) - will you be compassionate, while also treating this engineer with grace and maturity as your lead this conversation and match it with intent at this point - and not of the past ?
Finally, what did I do in this situation?
I was forced to do, what I wouldn’t have liked, and I had to fail the trust of this engineer in me in the reference check. But I also know that as much as he wouldn't understand my actions right now, he would look fondly at it many years back - exactly how I now view the “tamarind” episode and the character it has built in me. The reason for this was the same 95% vs 100% rule - if I break it once with “Just this time” - I go down that rabbit hole too and representing things that really happened is a far more easier than fabricating the ones that did not.
To you, with love and I am sorry, but this felt the right thing to do, for you.
To this engineer, who’s reading this and any other who sees a part of this in you(and has done some stupid mistake of this kind in impulse) - If you really mean you are sorry for the lack of this maturity, its a small world - people are usually kind. We do mistakes of all kinds - reflect on it - and move on. And in this moment, though it feels tearing to you - you will think fondly and beautifully of this as much as I have felt in some of my own darkest moments.
I love you, but I still wish you hadn’t done what you did. 💙💙
And I hope that you will forgive me for now. And that you do not see this as a betrayal. I have a personal role in co-owning this problem with you. And I take complete responsibility of my actions and the harm it may cause you inadvertently.
There are bigger mountains to scale and I hope you make the decisions with full awareness of its consequences in future. Please do not feel that you have failed me (or that I have failed you) - life tests us in non trivial ways, just like the Year in jail in Alipore for Sri Aurobindo - the penance and hardship and the bitter taste at that moment - it will get a little bit better, when you wake up tomorrow.
Go through that unconmfortable journey . In that, life happens and the last mile 5% of the excellence of character, does too.
Update : what happened after that ?
After writing this note above, I sent it to this engineer - explaining my situation honestly on why I did what I did.
And this happened(below) and I am so glad we both did what was right. Shake things a little bit, but never back down to what your gut is telling you to.
Our 5% moments of building real character.